Quotes - Mega Feed

  • Bernard Walton: Nothin worse than a squirming kid when you're trying to tell a story.
    “Bernard and Esther, Part 1”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Danny: Connie, I think you've better have a look at this table.
    Connie Kendall: Why, what's wrong with it?
    Danny: It's wobbly. I don't think it's safe for children my age.
    Connie Kendall: You don't think it's safe? What are you going to do, drive it home? You know, I really worry about you kids sometimes.
    “Nothing to Fear”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Jenny Roberts: Heather didn't have a VCR, but Sherry did. So why didn't Sherry tape the program and have Heather see it later?
    John Whittaker: Connie?
    Connie Kendall: H-how about some more lemonade?
    “Rights, Wrongs and Reasons”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • [Tamika & Marvin trying to write a song together]

    Tamika: Thrice?! Who says “thrice”?!

    Marvin: It’s a word.

    Tamika: So is intrauterine. It does not belong in a song.

    From Incorrect AIO Quotes
  • Sarah: Why were you listening at the door?

    Jared: Because I’m too short to see through the window.

    From Incorrect AIO Quotes
  • Rodney Rathbone: It all started when I took Denver to Whit's End.
    Harlow Doyle: You took a whole city to Whit's End?!
    “The Case of the Candid Camera”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Tom Riley: If modern science can come up with cinnamon dental floss why can’t they cure the flu?

    From Incorrect AIO Quotes
  • Penny: I never understood why people throw rice at weddings anyway.

    Conne: Because tomatoes leave stains.

    From Incorrect AIO Quotes
  • Eugene Meltsner: Mr. Whittaker... I think I want to believe, but I need help with my unbelief.
    John Whittaker: Eugene, that’s as good a start as any.
    “Thy Kingdom Come”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Connie: I am stunned, just stunned! Stunned is the only way to describe how… stunned I am!

    Bernard: Just a minute, just a minute, Connie. Are you trying to tell us that you are stunned?

    From Incorrect AIO Quotes
  • Bill: Connie, why don’t you ever come to California to visit me?

    Connie: It’s not easy, you know… I have my job, I have responsibilities, I’ve never been invited…

    From Incorrect AIO Quotes
  • Edwin, to himself as he’s about to go on stage: Remember, ESP, energy, smile, personality! They like me!

    From Incorrect AIO Quotes
  • Eugene Meltsner: This is rather embarrassing to admit Mr. Whittaker, but <whispering> I don't have a driver's license.
    John Whittaker: You don't have a driver's license?!
    Eugene Meltsner: Please Mr. Whittaker lower your vocal amplification! This is not information I wish to share with the world at large.
    “A Tongue of Fire”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Jules, telling her mom about meeting Connie: She lives in a place called Odyssey. They fight over whether it's macaroni and cheese, or cheese and macaroni. They have given cows the right to vote. A magician once pulled a rabbit out of a hat. They burned him as a witch. Don't look at me like that. I'm telling you the truth.
    From Incorrect AIO Quotes
  • Regis Blackgaard: Fools! Come after me in the tunnel... if you dare.
    “The Final Conflict”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Jack Davis: I'll bet those things he carries out in the middle of the night are his experiments. Just like Frankenstein.
    “Rumor Has It”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Jillian: Well, I’m off.

    Bernard: That would be my diagnosis.

    From Incorrect AIO Quotes
  • Jillian: I get fired all the time!

    Connie: You should be less proud of that.

    From Incorrect AIO Quotes
  • Donna Barclay: Karen is the only one I'd go to a hospital for.
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Julie Zeeke: Yeah, beauty is in the eyes of the uhh... beekeeper.
    John Whittaker: Uh, beholder.
    “More Like Alicia”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Connie Kendall: So, what's for breakfast?
    June Kendall: Let's see, there's eggs, bacon, toast, juice, cereal, and milk.
    Connie Kendall: Mmm, I'm starved!
    June Kendall: Well, it's all there in the fridge. Have at it!
    “That's Not Fair”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Ethel: It's right here in the want ads.
    Madge: Want ads?
    Ethel: No thank you, I've got some right here.
    “Gifts for Madge and Guy”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Jack Allen: Well, I think that went as well as could be expected.
    Eugene Meltsner: Would a nervous breakdown be suitable at this time?
    “Love is in the Air, Part 1”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • John Whittaker: Far be it from me to compare any of my measly inventions to the brilliance of Zapazoids.
    “Lincoln, Part 1”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Eugene Meltsner: How old are you, Nicholas?
    Nicholas Adamsworth: Eleven years, three months, 2 days, ten hours and 54 minutes old, not counting daylight savings.
    “Eugene's Dilemma”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Lucy Cunningham-Schultz: I mean a flag is just a piece of cloth. And the First Amendment does guarantee free expression.
    Curt Stevens: It does?
    Lucy Cunningham-Schultz: <beat> Yes, Curt.
    “By Dawn's Early Light”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes