Quotes - Mega Feed

  • Bernard Walton: All those brains, he doesn't have the sense God gave a rabbit.
    “Last in a Long Line”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Nathaniel Graham: Can't we continue our debate like two adults?
    Eugene Meltsner: We could, but we're one adult short.
    Nathaniel Graham: How droll.
    “The Tower”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Traci Mulligan: Well, Winona, it looks like it's just you and me, girl. Oh sure, come on up. Oh, and pass the mashed potatoes, will you please. No, no—oh. Actually, I was hoping you'd pass them in the bowl. N-no, I'll get the gravy myself. No, really, but thanks.
    “Leap of Faith”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • David Harley: Freeze! Police! Back away slowly, go for the cheese and you'll have it!
    “Addictions Can Be Habit-Forming”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Sam Johnson: You're throwing away your Disney Read-A-Long records? You think they're impure?
    Isaac Morton: I don't know. Better safe than sorry, I figure.
    Sam Johnson: Bambi?!
    Isaac Morton: Who knows how this stuff might influence me at weak moments.
    “Isaac the Pure”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Connie Kendall: Hey, did ya have a good trip? We got your postcard from Germany, and Belgium and London and Paris and Rome and..
    Jason Whittaker: Oh, I had a great summer. Just what I needed to satisfy my traveling bug.
    Connie Kendall: I should hope so. Europe, Russia, China.
    Jason Whittaker: You gotta do it sometime Connie. You gotta tour the world.
    Connie Kendall: Right, well you buy and I'll fly.
    “For Whom the Wedding Bells Toll, Part 1”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Charles Thompson: If you need me, I’ll be weeping in the corner booth.
    “Fences”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Eugene Meltsner: He eats people and their multi-million dollar contracts for lunch, and then uses someone like me as a tooth pick!
    Katrina Shanks: Huh?
    Eugene Meltsner: I am not your father!
    “Malachi's Message, Part 2”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Alex Jefferson: Are you crazy? Come back here! We could get arrested or shot or something!
    Cal Jordan: Cool!
    “Red Herring”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Lisa Mulligan: So do either of you two like animals?
    Janelle Mulligan: It depends on how they are cooked.
    “Viva La Difference”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • John Whittaker: Hey—instead of taking the bus, let's walk back to Whit's End. Whaddya say?
    Eugene Meltsner: Are you sure, Mr. Whittaker? That's quite a distance for a man of your—
    John Whittaker: Uh, careful, careful.
    Eugene Meltsner: Uh... social position.
    “The Battle, Part 1”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Isaac Morton: You know, dad, we live in a real den of impurity.
    “Isaac the Pure”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Nathaniel Graham: Can't we continue our debate like two adults?
    Eugene Meltsner: We could, but we're one adult short.
    Nathaniel Graham: How droll.
    “The Tower”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Bart Rathbone: Look, I know you think you understand what you thought you heard me say, but what you thought you heard me say was certainly not what you thought I meant.
    “Family Values”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Rodney Rathbone: Duck! There's Tom Riley! <tires screech>
    Rodney Rathbone: Why'd you duck?
    Doris Rathbone: You said to duck!
    “The Other Woman”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Jason Whittaker: Wow! Look at all these kids.
    Jack Allen: Yeah, there's been a line to play your video game all day long.
    Jason Whittaker: Oh, that's great! You know, I'm thinking about bringing out some more. I could do the whole Old Testament in video games. Set it up in chronological order. You know, David and Goliath, Jonah...
    “Red Wagons and Pink Flamingos”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Kelly: Picnics in the rain are fun.
    Ed Washington: No...they’re not. They’re just...wet.
    “License to Deprive”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Jules: How come Wooton gets to use your car?

    Connie: Because he brings it back.

    Jules: Oh, so now there are rules?

    Connie: More just common courtesies like not driving my car out of town, or not running my car out of gas while you’re out of town, or not having my car towed by the police somewhere even farther out of town.

    Jules: Like I’m the one who didn’t put enough gas in it.

    Connie: Yeah, I shoulda thought of that before I let you take my car without asking.

    Jules: Fine! Can I borrow your car that time?

    Connie: No

    Jules: See? That’s why I don’t ask.

    From Incorrect AIO Quotes
  • Connie: Maybe people get a little put off by your vocabulary.

    Eugene: You mean intimidated by my vocabulary?

    From Incorrect AIO Quotes
  • Connie Kendall: What do you think they're up to?
    Eugene Meltsner: Ah, establishing a plausible and rational explanation to this mystery. I hope.
    Jack Allen: If they can.
    Connie Kendall: Jack, you're beginning to sound like you believe he's really an angel.
    “Malachi's Message, Part 2”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Jack: In business there are only two choices: lower your expenses or increase your revenue.

    Bart: You are completely overlooking bankruptcy and insurance fraud.

    From Incorrect AIO Quotes
  • Connie: Phobias aren’t rational. They don’t have to make sense. Don’t you have any?

    Jason: Fears? Not really, just the standard stuff: pirates, vampires, sasquatch, intimacy, commitment.

    From Incorrect AIO Quotes
  • Connie Kendall: Sometimes you make a lot of sense, Eugene.
    Eugene Meltsner: Sometimes???
    “Let This Mind Be in You”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Paul Revere: You must both leave for safety at once!
    John Hancock: Safety? Not while there's a breath left in my body! Bring me my sword!
    Sam Adams: Hancock, we've been over this a thousand times! You cannot go into battle! You're too valuable to us elsewhere!
    John Hancock: I shall go into battle and none shall say me nay! Where's my gun and my boots?
    “The Midnight Ride”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Jeff: So, what kind of poison is the cafeteria serving today?
    Bobby Novak: I can't tell. It smells like my dad's sneakers.
    Jeff: Let me see. Is meat supposed to be green? And what are those little round purple things supposed to be?
    Bobby Novak: Look, Jeff. I have to eat this stuff! I don't want to think about it.
    “Bobby's Valentine”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Aubrey Shepard: He bit me, and I bit him!

    —“The Lyin' Tale”Aubrey Shepard: When I open this garbage can lid, anything can happen.

    “The Lyin' Tale”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Jimmy Barclay: I'm in love with Connie Kendall!!
    “Coming of Age”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Bart Rathbone: <on TV> It's like I've always said, Abby. The poor have got to eat, too.
    Connie Kendall: Like you've always said?!
    “Rewards in Full”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Jason Whittaker: You can't toss your hearts around like a football!
    “Love is in the Air, Part 2”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Connie Kendall: I have all the time I need to do the things I have to do. In fact the only thing wasting my time right now is Y-O-U. So if you'll excuse me, I have work to do.
    Eugene Meltsner: Y-O-U?
    Connie Kendall: YOU, EUGENE!!
    “The 'No' Factor”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Sheriff: You don't have to preach to me, reverend. I go to church.
    Reverend Andrew Jamison: And so I appeal to you in the name of Christ, your Master, to help us! Please... help us!
    “The Underground Railroad, Part 3”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Roy (a): That's right, Blackgaard. Joe, Frank, Bubba, and the rest of us. Now get out of here. We're gonna save your theater!
    Edwin Blackgaard: After all I said about you? Why?
    Roy (a): Because it's our job!
    “When Bad Isn't So Good”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Jimmy Barclay: I can't believe you volunteered us to go to The Electric Palace just as Rick Rancid was about to start, Lawrence.
    Lawrence Hodges: Sorry, Jimmy; I didn't know what I was thinking.
    Jimmy Barclay: I may have to kick you out of the fan club for this!
    Lawrence Hodges: You'd look pretty silly attending the meetings all by yourself.
    Jimmy Barclay: That's true.
    “Aloha, Oy!, Part 1”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Liz: Alex is a boy. Who knows what’s going on in his head?

    From Incorrect AIO Quotes
  • Angela: Yes, Mr. Walton.
    Bernard Walton: The name's Bernard! <to himself> She'll never get my name right...
    “The Fifth House on the Left, Part 2”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Regis Blackgaard: it may be evil, but it’s effective.

    From Incorrect AIO Quotes
  • Redcoat #2: Sleeping, eh? You wouldn't have been listening to our conversation, would ya?
    Newt: Listening? With the way I snore?
    “The Midnight Ride”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Charles Thompson: That was just me talking. I do that a lot.
    “A Class Act”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Fanny Crosby: Listen, before you go I have a little something special for you.
    Jenny Roberts: Really?
    Fanny Crosby: Yes. It's a poem I wrote when I was eight years old. "Oh what a happy soul am I. Although I cannot see. I am resolved that in this world contented I will be. How many blessings I enjoy that other people don't. To weep and sigh because I'm blind, I cannot and I won't."
    “Hymn Writers”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Alex: I know what all of you are thinking: my jacket is wrinkled. I would have ironed it, but someone here thought it would be a great idea to use the iron to make a grilled cheese sandwich.
    Cal: I had bread. I had cheese. I had an iron. What was I supposed to do?
    From Incorrect AIO Quotes
  • Wooton to Wellington: Remember, we don't have any servants here, so if you see anyone besides me, call the police.
    From Incorrect AIO Quotes
  • Wooton: Penny loves surprises. She has so many surprises you could write a book about them.
    Connie: Where to end that book is the challenge.
    From Incorrect AIO Quotes
  • Nick: Whit, can I have the day off tomorrow?
    Whit: Why?
    Nick: Because I won't be here.
    From Incorrect AIO Quotes
  • Jack Allen: I never knew Bart was such a good tap dancer!
    Connie Kendall: You said it!
    “Rewards in Full”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Jimmy Barclay: Where'd you learn to pray like that?
    Donna Barclay: What do you mean?
    Jimmy Barclay: You sounded like an adult. What'd you do, read it somewhere?
    Donna Barclay: Cut it out. It's rude to critique people's prayers. I wasn't talking to you anyway.
    “A Prayer for George Barclay”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Danny: Connie, I think you've better have a look at this table.
    Connie Kendall: Why, what's wrong with it?
    Danny: It's wobbly. I don't think it's safe for children my age.
    Connie Kendall: You don't think it's safe? What are you going to do, drive it home? You know, I really worry about you kids sometimes.
    “Nothing to Fear”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Brenda Perry: So, how's The Good Samaritan coming?
    Charles Thompson: He's purple.
    Brenda Perry: What?
    Charles Thompson: He was a grape-flavored Popsicle. But I figure, he'd be pretty purple anyways after getting beat up.
    “The Pretty Good Samaritan”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Bernard Walton: Nothin worse than a squirming kid when you're trying to tell a story.
    “Bernard and Esther, Part 1”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Danny: Connie, I think you've better have a look at this table.
    Connie Kendall: Why, what's wrong with it?
    Danny: It's wobbly. I don't think it's safe for children my age.
    Connie Kendall: You don't think it's safe? What are you going to do, drive it home? You know, I really worry about you kids sometimes.
    “Nothing to Fear”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Jenny Roberts: Heather didn't have a VCR, but Sherry did. So why didn't Sherry tape the program and have Heather see it later?
    John Whittaker: Connie?
    Connie Kendall: H-how about some more lemonade?
    “Rights, Wrongs and Reasons”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Rodney Rathbone: It all started when I took Denver to Whit's End.
    Harlow Doyle: You took a whole city to Whit's End?!
    “The Case of the Candid Camera”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Eugene Meltsner: Mr. Whittaker... I think I want to believe, but I need help with my unbelief.
    John Whittaker: Eugene, that’s as good a start as any.
    “Thy Kingdom Come”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Eugene Meltsner: This is rather embarrassing to admit Mr. Whittaker, but <whispering> I don't have a driver's license.
    John Whittaker: You don't have a driver's license?!
    Eugene Meltsner: Please Mr. Whittaker lower your vocal amplification! This is not information I wish to share with the world at large.
    “A Tongue of Fire”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Regis Blackgaard: Fools! Come after me in the tunnel... if you dare.
    “The Final Conflict”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Jack Davis: I'll bet those things he carries out in the middle of the night are his experiments. Just like Frankenstein.
    “Rumor Has It”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes
  • Donna Barclay: Karen is the only one I'd go to a hospital for.
    “Karen”
    From AIOWiki Random Quotes